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Outsmart your Cheating Partner: Recognize the Signs of Infidelity!



  DR. Michael Shery, clinical psycholoGY

  2615 Three Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A, 

  Cary, Illinois 60013  847 275 8236 (24 Hrs);




“Since 1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”



Doctoral degree: University of Southern California, 1975






         Referrals accepted from Alexian Brothers, Good Shepherd, Centegra, Loyola, Northwestern University, University of Chicago and the Mayo Clinic hospitals and physicians.




Counseling, Therapy and

Expert Evaluations for: 


Anxiety - Depression -Marriage -Adolescent- ADHD - Alcohol -Substance Abuse -Anger - Fitness for Duty - Disability -Adoption - Weight Loss Surgery 





Questions? Call  Dr Mike NOW: 


                    847 275 8236 (24 Hrs)




Outsmart your Cheating Partner: Recognize the Signs of Infidelity!


Relationships start with infatuation and physical attraction, then emotional attraction and then comes love. However, in order for a relationship to endure for life, an abiding trust, admiration and respect for each other is indispensable.

When suspicion of infidelity is aroused, trust, the very core of the relationship can be severely or irreparably damaged. Unfortunately, in this day and age, it certainly appears that infidelity has become all too common, leading to it being one of the bigger triggers for breakups and divorces.

Women often experience a gut feeling when their partners cheat. However, many will still hesitate to overtly question their situation out of "denial."

Some women are more insecure or suspicious than others, often on account of having past failed relationships. If you are one of those, perhaps you have immediately accused your spouse, even though the triggering situation may have been very insignificant.

If you worry that your partner may be unfaithful, for your peace of mind, it is incumbent on you to become aware of the signs of infidelity in men. You must do this before making any major decisions about your relationship.

Caveat: The following signs are not engraved in stone, nor are they infallible. Also, no one or two signs, by themselves, necessarily mean much.

Evaluate things in context; use your head. Are just one of the warning signs evident, or are there several?

Not surprisingly, more credence should be given when several signs are present, rather than just one. For example, coming home late from work on the pretext of being behind on a huge job assignment is considered by some to be one of the more obvious signs of infidelity.

Of course, everything else being equal, his assertion might be reasonable. People can be late from being behind on a project.

However, is everything else equal, or are other factors out of whack? After all, after a time, projects ultimately get completed and office schedules do return to normal.

Therefore, if your spouse continually comes home late, even after weeks or months, cheating should be considered a real possibility. What are the other factors that should be considered if they are out of whack?

1. A Climate of Secrecy

If your spouse used to discuss everything with you, but suddenly stops, then take note. Does your partner put in long hours on the Internet, which seem abnormal and unnecessary? If so, take note.

Cheating men close the door so that their spouses are unable to see or hear what is actually taking place. Does your spouse close the door or keep his cell on "silent" when you are around?

Does he change rooms to talk? If so, take note. If you enter the room unexpectedly, does he disconnect the phone suddenly? If so, take note.

Also, if you ask who was on the line with him, does he avoid the question, act alarmed or mention someone that you have never heard of? If so, take note.

2. Unexplainable Behavior Changes

Unexplainable changes in your spouse's behavior can be a warning sign. Men having an affair are more likely to change their appearance in ways they expect would impress their paramour.

Of course, some men change their clothes and hairstyles, on their own, for legitimate reasons. However, if your guy is someone who never cared much about his appearance before, this can be a warning sign of infidelity.

Do you notice any changes in his sexual proclivities? Has he attempted to avoid sex with you or does he show a sudden interest in experimenting with behaviors that you have never shared with him before? If so, take note.

3. Has He Become Short, Defensive or Paranoid?

Unfaithful men often become short with their spouses for no apparent reason. Even a simple question about an important business meeting can cause them to explode and accuse you of being distrustful.

This could be an important warning sign because some people argue that only guilty spouses use anger to defend themselves.

4. Has he Suddenly Started Spending too Much Money?

If your partner is suddenly having financial problems and having less time for you and the family, take note. These behaviors may signify that your man is being unfaithful.

Be reasonable and vigilant, but don't be a fool!


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About The Author

Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including:  ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Coventry, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna-Allied, First Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, Meridian, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network, United Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .


He has practiced clinical psychology for approximately 30 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling Association.


The office is located in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone Counseling.

To make an appointment> New Patient Registration or to learn more about the psychological services he provides call him at 1-847-275-8236 (24 Hrs).

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