Affiliated Counseling and Referral Services

 

“ ABSOLUTELY no headaches. NO forms to fill out.   We bill your insurance directly.  Just make your small co-payment and you'll NEVER receive a bill from us-Ever!  Guaranteed!"  Since 1976.

 

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Affiliated COUNSELING AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)

DR. Michael Shery, Clinical Psychology

  2615 Three Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A, Cary, IL 60013

www.carypsychology.com 847 275 8236 (24 Hrs); drmike@carypsychology.com

 

“Since 1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”

 

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Doctoral degree: University of Southern California, 1975

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        Referrals accepted from Alexian Brothers, Good Shepherd, Centegra, Loyola, Northwestern University, University of Chicago and the Mayo Clinic hospitals and physicians.





 

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Counseling, Therapy and

Expert Evaluations for: 

 

Anxiety - Depression -Marriage -Adolescent- ADHD - Alcohol -Substance Abuse -Anger - Fitness for Duty - Disability -Adoption - Weight Loss Surgery 

 

 

 

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Questions? Call  Dr Mike NOW: 

                          

                    847 275 8236 (24 Hrs)

 

 

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The Nine Top Marital Blunders

by Dr Mike Shery

When thinking about my patients, I've noticed a pattern to the marital conflicts that they share. Here's my list of the top ten things that put your marriage at higher risk for break-up and the things you must do to strengthen it.

1) Putting-Down Spouse’s Friends/Family

Don't badmouth your spouse or her/his friends, family or associates. Spouses need to know you appreciate their world outside of you. Rather, compliment her friends and family.

2) Not Using Good Listening Skills

This includes indulging pre-occupation, avoiding eye contact, looking somewhere else as the conversation unfolds etc. Rather, use good eye contact, wait ‘til your spouse finishes talking and concentrate so much on what s/he is saying that you paraphrase it to demonstrate you REALLY listened.

3) Lack of Sexual Interplay

This is a very ominous sign in marriage. If your partner has complaints that prevent him/her from wanting to engage you sexually, get help. Seek medical and/or psychological counseling, if necessary. Men, don’t get hung-up on wanting SEX-SEXUAL INTERCOURSE all the time. Be able to frequently engage your partner slowly and tenderly in a SENSUAL fashion without SEX. Don’t worry, your penis won’t explode because of pent-up semen. Don't leave your partner clueless as to why you aren't interested in sex.

4) Always Having the Last Word or Need to be Right

This includes lecturing, criticizing and over-correcting your partner. Narcissists are HARD to love! Occasionally, admit that you made a mistake, don’t know or compliment your partner as having made a “good point” (and leave it at that). Please be concise. Don't answer every question with a lecture on the topic.

5) Not Following-Thru

Actions do speak louder than words. Be reliable and trustworthy. When you commit yourself to doing something, do it. This builds the trust necessary to maintain a close relationship. Trust involves everyday things, not just fidelity.

6) Inconsiderate Teasing

Believe your spouse if s/he says that your teasing was hurtful or a put down. Don’t give a lecture about why that wasn’t correct. Just stop it. Ask yourself what s/he would find complimentary and say that instead. If you just LISTEN to your spouse you can learn alot.

7) Deceit, Lies and Falsehoods

Having lies and secrets creates distance and serious suspicions in your mate. This leads to lack of trust and robs your relationship of the fuel it needs to keep going. Swallow, bite the bullet, be considerate and be honest .

8) Being Juvenile

When you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy, it’s immature and VERY wearing on a spouse. Find better ways to get attention and use healthy communication techniques to communicate your gripes.

9) Explosive Anger

You must handle conflict constructively EVEN if your spouse doesn’t. Having angry outbursts always makes you the loser, even if you ARE right. That’s called being “self-defeating.”

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Copyright, Shery, 2006

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About The Author

Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including: ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna, First Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network, United Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .

He has practiced clinical psychology for approximately 24 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling Association.

The office is located in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone Counseling.

To make an appointment> New Patient Registration or to learn more about the psychological services he providescall him at 1-847-275-8236 (24 Hrs).



 To make an appointment, schedule yourself now;

Click:  Make appointment for Cary Office: Therapy and Counseling

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>How to Find the Right Counselor-the FIRST Time

 

>Northern Illinois: Drug-Alcohol Treatment Locator

 

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>More Info>www.caryilcounseling.com

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