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                                             Affiliated COUNSELING AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)

DR. Michael Shery, Clinical Psychology

  2615 Three Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A, Cary, IL 60013 847 275 8236(24 Hrs);


Since 1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”



Doctoral degree: University of Southern California, 1975



        Referrals accepted from Alexian Brothers, Good Shepherd, Centegra, Loyola, Northwestern University, University of Chicago and the Mayo Clinic hospitals and physicians.




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Your Relationship: How to Fix It Before It Becomes Unfixable!

-from Mchenry and Algonquin, IL


Relationship problems can cause untold suffering and depression. They can lead to anxiety and even alcohol and substance abuse.

These problems are unbelievably complex. That is why timeliness in getting help is crucial-the sooner, the better-before your relationship becomes unsolvable.

Difficult relationships like these often cause feelings of futility and hopelessness in one or both partners. However, surprisingly, these very same partners usually do not systematically search for the methods that are proven to bring people back together; instead they just argue and make their own futile attempts, which just cause more frustration and heart-ache.

Do not make any more mistakes than you have already. Use the solution that has been proven to have the best chance of bringing you and your partner back together: Relationship Counseling. Build on your motivation now, call a professional counselor and start to mend your relationship before it is too late!

Couples can have conflicts resulting from the presence of physical or psychological problems in either person. Parenting issues can also create arguments and turmoil that seem relentless.

For these reasons, it is best to get the help of a counseling or clinical psychologist; unlike ordinary counselors, psychologists can administer well researched scientific tests which can quickly zero-in on the core psychological issues which might be lurking in the background and fueling your relationship conflicts.

The length of the counseling process is important. You and your partner must stay in treatment long enough to get a significantly positive result.

Counseling is affordable. You might even be able to get some free services from an Employee Assistance Program offered through your work. These services are typically offered through the Human Resources Dept.

Your relationship counseling will probably involve the presence of some mental health symptoms, as well i.e. anxiety, depression etc. If so, your health benefits plan will pay for all, or some of the therapy required.

Be sure you find a therapist who only requires that you pay the co-payment at each visit. However, some some of the people you contact may require that you pay the entire fee at each visit, which requires you to be reimbursed later by your insurance company.

This is not standard practice today; find someone who requires you to only provide the co-pay at each session. Your therapist will then receive the balance of the payment himself, directly from the insurance company.

Psychological testing can be an essential, but often overlooked, part of your relationship assessment- the first stage of counseling. Through these testing instruments your relationship counselor can evaluate the condition of your communication patterns, the presence of built-in biases and stereotypes, the effectiveness of your problem-solving skills and the levels of empathy that you and your partner display.

Problems with communicating and disciplining children are very common and can feed the raging frenzy of your relationship conflicts, as well. Divorce and the continual transitioning from one relationship to the next also create toxic forms of instability and insecurity that leads to relentless relationship dysfunction.

Most likely, however, you and your partner are causing the core problems in your relationship yourselves because of your poor communication patterns, continuing conflicts, intermittent estrangements or even sexual problems. Since your relationship with your partner is fundamental, it will be necessary for both of you to change your underlying communication patterns.

A relationship counselor provides couples therapy to address these issues as well as to help you improve your crucial problem-solving skills. Sometimes multiple issues complicate things such as, possessiveness, plus poorly managed anger etc.

Goal-setting is the second stage of treatment. At this stage, you and your counselor specify the behavioral changes which you believe are necessary to repair the relationship. These can include increases in empathy, the use of skilled problem-solving methods, the demonstration of appreciation and the more frequent use of forgiveness.

The last stage of this important process is implementation-putting what you have learned into action. This stage includes the creation of a fast and easy-to-use program which will get you and your partner from where you are to where you WANT to be.

Various counseling approaches may be required, including communication and empathy training, the therapeutic re-structuring of thinking processes and the role-playing of important skills. The therapist may even ask you to use diaries, logs, charts etc to practice the new communication skills in your everyday lives.

Will your counselor ever see one of you separately from the other? Only infrequently, will the therapist provide individual counseling to one partner and simultaneously treat both of you as a couple.

However, one exception is the treatment of anger management problems which can often include the use of individual visits with one partner or the other. However, these individual visits would be planned to help with the anger management problems only.

It is possible to provide individual counseling to two partners separately; however, psychologists evaluate the appropriateness of this format on a per case basis.

Psychologists who provide couples or family counseling often have received specialized training in relationship and marital therapy. When you contact a psychologist for relationship counseling, be sure to ask about his/her training in marriage and couple therapy techniques.


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About the Author

Dr Shery has over 30 years of proven experience. He is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, McHenry, Woodstock and Lake-in-the-Hills. He provides day, evening and Saturday appts and accepts your health insurance. Call 1 847 275 8236 or learn more at:


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In-Office Services are located in Cary, Illinois and are convenient if you're coming from: 

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